Karma Really Do Exist

Dusty

2010-07-22T06:23:00.000-07:00

I just feel like updating my blog. I'll be sitting for my english paper 1 and 2 prelim tomorrow, I've only studied about the format for letter wrinting and ways to craft a summary.I just feel like its a little to early for prelim.
I'm happy that I can now understand chemistry bit by bit rather then knowing nothing. C=C

I'm starting to pay back the days that I've skip for last year fasting month. Today is the first day:)
My life is just normal now, maybe I've still have issues about my love life but I'm still fine with school,family and friends. I just need to make myself busy so that I will prevent myself from msging him.

I'm just mad with that someone. I thought we were just joking around about the part-time lover things.Its so stupid of you to take thing real. You & I have been friends since primary one, what do you want? kau ni merepek laa. Its my wish to be msging with any guys, who are you to control?

That wil do, I going to update my wordpress next;)

Sorry

2010-06-25T09:16:00.002-07:00

Sorry for not been updating. I starting on wordpress but I will still be active here. Later going out with gf.
bye:)

How long more

2010-06-18T10:22:00.001-07:00

Hmm, Its been quite a long time since I last talk to him or even laugh with him. I don't know if I can ever laugh & talk to him like we use to. I've made a mistake and I can't blame him for not talking to me but I just don't feel right not talking to him. He is the only one I regard like my own brother that is always there for me when I needed someone to talk to.We are only left with a few months before we maybe separate to our own ways, are we gonna continue being like this all the way? :'( I just hope everything gonna turn up fine

I've just recover from a slight fever. Tmrw maybe I'm going to WestCoast If my parents allow me to go.

Life getting better now but sad at the same time.Mixed and guilty feelings everywhere. Wah you think funny are calling me at 2.55a.m just to tell me what happen btw you and her and at same time asking about me. hahas. You mmg klakar. Tapy jage2 nanty mataer marah how? haha

I miss all the fun that I should have.

I & you, Aku & kau

2010-06-15T09:13:00.000-07:00

(I forgot to wish her happy birthday.Happy 19th birthday kak neena;)

Hope the best for you!

actually I have lots to say when you text me yesterday but I don't think its a good idea. When I think back you say I'm nonsense when you reply one word text msg does not mean that you are angry. Think back since when I start contacting you? I know usually how you reply. Okay laa its my fault, maybe thats the way you are now. haha, People change I guess. Sorry if i was lame yesterday when I replied your msg cos I don't want us to be ending up not talking to each other or enemy. It sucks. I don't want it to happen again.
What makes people know that what I'm posting is refering to you? obvious? But i don't insert name seh.
I know clearly as long as I don't insert name I'm not doing anything wrong.
Okay laa..

I can be happy

2010-06-14T05:22:00.000-07:00

I've just finish bathing in the morning I had maths extra class. I had kfc for lunch and ljs for dinner. I've been eating lots of fasfood lately.

I wanna be happy now. What for be sad? I should be enjoying life now besides studying for my nlevel.

*Dulu aku layan kau eventhough aku tak patot, despite the warnings. Aku tak selalu cari psl ngan kau mcm mane kau cari psl ngn aku skrg. Kau memang nak balas balik ape yang aku pernah buat pat kau tapi kau balas lagi rabak.Selame nie aku bertahan dengan kau nye karena yang tak abesabes nak mengamok biler aku give in kau ckp salah kau lah tuh lah. Kau jangan nak salahkn takdir or cakap kau tkde niat. Syabas! kau telah berjaya;) kau tak pernah nampak ape aku dah buat untuk kau, kau tahu cari kesalahan aku jerh.

I'm back again

2010-06-09T10:37:00.001-07:00

Its been long since i last update my blog. I'm back from great world city with mom. I had a great talk with her just now on our way there. Thanks mom for the new broadband line and esprit blouse. woohuu, i love^^
I think its time for me to start appreciating what my parents are giving me. Be thankful ellisa.

Now is still the first week of holidays but i know its not yet the time for me to be enjoying myself. I really want to control my holidays and make good use of it. I cannot follow my heart and simply skip any extra class just because of the weather which is always raining or lazy. yeayeay.

My life is in a mess right now. I don't know what makes me tell him everything? Eventhough i know that i love him i should not have told him about the guy who i've most respected since I was close with him. I'm really sorry I don't know what i should do next? I'm not very sure if he really have forgive me. I hope everything going to be back to normal sooner or later. Few months more and we will be leaving each other maybe so I don't want to have a cold war with you bro.

I fought wih you just because of a small thing. It seems difficult for you to control your temper now. HaHa, It was you who told me that this year you don't get angry often now what? You say you don't have the intention to do what I've done to you before and you are blaming fate but the way you treating me tells me everything. I don't know how long I can tolerate with your ego and temper. I'm not giving up yet.

Btw paul text me in the morning telling me he will be going away but coming back. I'm not sure if he is really away yet? if its for real then takecare & I'm gonna miss my saturdays without you.

2010-05-27T06:41:00.000-07:00

HELLO! Ashey here!
Echa wont be able to update her blog for the time being. Appologise for that.
TAKECARE readers :D

Keep tagging alriight!!!

Nurfa birthday celebration.

2010-05-22T11:42:00.000-07:00

Running here, running there thats the job of organiser but its fun all long as what we organise work out according to what we had plan. So Nurfa's birhday celebration was at jurong park and it was successful. Started around 2, cut the cake,have fun at the playground,catching and kite.I hope Nurfa love and like what we have done for her:)Thats the best.

I've been clumsy lately. Firstly I fell when I was bathing luckily nothing serious happen just that my head bleed but when i went school on friday my head did not stop aching. Maybe its the impact of the fall and not enough sleeps and lead to migraine.

I can't believe that I failed all my common test and it shows that i have not work very hard, if this continue I have to stop dreaming of going sec 5 or even ITE. I'l try my best to make use if the June hols.

I'm still loving him and I've not gave up yet. If he could wait for me why can't I? If last time he gave up half way, why don't I just be a little patience. There was one time when I was talking in the phone with him when he answer a question then i did not quite understand his answer so I gave him a choice is it ................ Or its not possible between you an me? He answer is not possible between you and me so i cried to him in the phone. He was like asking me to repeat the question again cos he don't understand when i repeat he gave me the different answer, he said just now he don't understand my question thats why he gave me the wrong answer. Haiys, Im not sure if it the true maybe its just a way to stop me from crying and making me feel good. I'm not sure:'(
Now i tried my best not to msg him much like before, I don't want him to be irritated by me.

Even if I will never have the chance to be with you I won't regret crying for you cos I know you worth every tear that I cry:)

Saturday

2010-05-15T11:35:00.001-07:00

When to buy some stuffs with Ashey and feezana at Bugis. I spend my money and time at there which I think was really useful as I don't like to buy things the very last minute when you are needing it, that was what I've been doing the past months so I need to put a stop to that. I've made a slight change today I tried not to think about him all the time by making feezana keep my phone with her and not to stop talking with the two girls. Finally when it was about time to go home I decided to text him :)

The sad part is he was tired and could not talk on the phone with me*sobsob*
but he promise me that he will some other time. I shall keep ur promise. There are many question running in my mind about me and him but I don't wish to ask cos i don't want to destroy the friendship between me and him. I know I'm strong to accept the karma that has fallen on me but I don't think I'm strong enough yet to let him go from my heart. If only last year I had a good brain and heart that could think and feel wisely I won't be suffering like this I guess.
ILY:'(
He know what I'm feeling cos he once felt it.

Karma sucks!

2010-05-14T07:42:00.000-07:00

haiys, life have been a torture for me.I drag myself to this kind of situation. Sometimes people like me intend to have a strong and happy face infront of people but when I'm at home alone surely those emotional kind of stuffs will start. Gosh, yesterday was the most hard time when I view his fb while lying on bed. Tears just started rolling and everything was just sad for me. I can't control myself so I text him eventhough I know that he was bz and will be texting me soon, that was what he told me. I even lost my appetite eventhough i felt hungry but i try to endure cos at this moment i just feel like eating was a waste of time. while texting with him, I was still crying but this time i did not call anyone to be a crying shoulder but overcome it alone. I feel the pain when he told me that this is really a karma for me and i agreed. He know how I'm feeling right now cos he had gone through it bfore. No use for me to be saying sorry even a million times cos his feelings won't change as he have gave up long time ago.I may not stand the chance to be with him but i wll keep him in my heart and never forget how good he had treated me before. ILY:'(

up

2010-05-11T03:25:00.000-07:00

Im tired to update my blog now. I'm also busy studying for common tests.
I'm happy that I manage to let it out to you. Thanks for willing to hear what I got to say. I'm really feeling satisfied as I've been keeping it too long inside. I don't mind not getting the chance to have you but I'm happy that I manage to be frank with you.

echa

Friday.

2010-04-30T08:13:00.000-07:00

(I just hate those eyebags)

Don't tell me just because of not enough sleep and crying sometimes can cause me to have those ugly eyes.

After school I had DnT from 2.30 to 5.30. I'm finally doing my idea development. My face when from normal to red and trying my best not to burst out during social studies lesson. Atleast I tried my best seh to answers all the question eventhough I admit that some of my answer were inrelevant. I gave teacher my answers as there was no one who wanted to volunteer and I don't want Mdm A to blow her top. My effort was not appreciate instead nasty remarks. I don't mind that cos I know maybe it is mean to be a joke but if not then I just wanna say"next time if you think you are perfect, you give uh."hahas, I say eh but if not. Aku sumpah tau sape yg nak jadi batu api nak sampai2 kn dasar kao mulot puki ayam! cibeh uh aku tak letak name eh, sape makan chili dier laa yg terase. kau suke kn tgk aku gadoh?

I don't know till when will I be stuck in this kind of situations.I really hate to be sad everytime I'am posting but I can't resist. Its difficult to understand the situation. To tell myself the truth not even a friend understand what I'am going through. It may seems I'm always laughing out loud in school but what about at home? I know myself well. I know I always take thing for granted but I've learned my mistake that every little things mean alot eventhough you don't feel anything, sooner or later you are sure to need it or wanting to treasure it. crap!

Karma exist in all things you do.

Don't bother if you just want to dig out the secrets cos I'm not going to share with you any since I know what are you trying to do. Okay, I know I sound angry obviously I am. don't bother to ask me who cos I will keep my mouth shut. haha.

I'am starting to be lonely now since abg is not at home. I just have to stand strong without abg by my side. I miss abg's advice about the boys I always talk about to him. I miss him scolding me when everytime he got to know that I'm not trying to move on.

lastly I am going to say that I missed Firah just like how she miss me. If she was here with me confirm she will be there to advise me like how she use to in physics lesson. Ingat tak firah? biler aku nanges rabak pat physics. kau dudok pat sblh aku and pujok aku. hahas.

ABg

2010-04-29T05:03:00.000-07:00

heyy, I have some time to post so I shall post. School is fine. Guess every teacher is trying their best to tell us to work harder especially for my coursework. I will always hear this sentence"we are behind time." haha.
I notice now that N-levels are coming many friends intend to have group or night studies. Fun nye. Well, I always stuck at home either doing some revision,eat,sleep and surf the net. But I think I'm the kind of person who can't study in big groups cos I will not be able to pay full attention. Gosh! I have a habit of dreaming in class recently. I started to realise when I was in social studies lesson. Mdm A was busy briefing about the format or whatever and I was at my sit but my mind was not there. hahas.

haha. People want to see how my brother look now?I don't have a picture of him alone so I took in from his gf fb. I think this picture was taken one or two days before he went in. His mgs yesterday really make me cry seh. He told me not to cry and that he loves me. hahas. Adek sayang abg juga. haha

MYE

2010-04-26T07:35:00.000-07:00

Hmm, Sometimes I wonder why some people just like to show their temper & type out "BOOMZ" words in cyber rather then talking things out. Maybe it make seems to them that by talking, it will make everyone know what is happening but don't you think it will make things more better rather then you type out everything in cyber and make people unhappy or even hate you more. In everything we do there will surely be disadvantages.

Malay paper coming in two days time and I don't know if I have prepare enough. Since I'm going to absent myself from school tomorrow I'm very sure to revise everything after I reach home. Revision have to start as soon as possible.

Gosh! I hate it when the feelings come and you are sitting for exams soon eventhough its not the really major one but I still need to treat it as one. I just hope that I must not make the feelings distract myself from studies.

I just feel that he is a change person now. I'm not sure if its good for me msging with him. I just miss the way we use to be. I cried this few day just thinking what will happen next? ohh god! Enough of the suffering I had gone through.

Ade org paisey seh. He thought me & Feezana was talking about him. hee(:

2010-04-21T07:26:00.001-07:00

My Brother. He is going ns in 6 days time yet till now he still don't let me to send him there. He say " I don't expect you to be coming." hmm, sad right. I hope he will let me go please. I know he will let me go for sure.

I'm gonna miss him soon. Dye pn dha botak cam toyol tau skrg.

long day .

2010-04-18T05:56:00.000-07:00

First thing first I just wanna tell farah to be strong and patience. Today Yuliz,Kart,Faiza,Ashey & me went to Farah's house to gave her our support as she needs us. We accompanied her till around 1 plus.

Then Me and Faiza accompany Kart to do her shopping. I forgot where we go but I know the last place was Heren. If you guys wanna see kart's stress face you can follow her shopping cos she will get very fed up & stress when she don't know what to buy haha. Btw Kart, thanks for the major crush dessert, You taofu(Im not sure about the spelling) & .drink

Tomorrow school will start again. Later I'm going to finish my Maths homework & iron my school uniform.
Biseng laa rumah, can I have PEACE! I need it so that I can concentrate on studies.

okay now.

2010-04-16T07:18:00.000-07:00

What happen to rudy really was shocking. When me and others visit him just now he seems okay but I can see from his face that he is still tired. I pray you get well soon Rudy. I'm sorry for everything that I've done. Eventhough how angry I am sometimes, I know you have a good heart and still a friend.

Tomorrow I'm going for interact meeting again at town area at early morning. fuuh! I tired. gonna get some sleep now(:):

Farah's birthday celebration.

2010-04-13T06:20:00.001-07:00

yes uh, me and others manage to organise farah's birthday party well. I salute the boys for coming cos I thought their maybe will always be not going. Eventhough some were tired from soccer they still come to celebrate farah's birthday. Thank you guys! I'm glad that farah like her birthday celebartion eventhough its a little weird place. hahas.

Time flies fast and soon I'm sitting for my mid year examinations. btw now farah started to go school early with me. Next will be faiza okay. I hope she wants. I'm worry about my studies, I'm not sure if I'm really studying well. I have been following my mood to study.I need to put a stop to all that soon.

The fcuked attitude today was in english lesson. I was massaging my head as I was having a bad headache when suddenly I turn infront i saw two of my classmate laughing and staring at me as if I have just say or do something funny. pragai cb sia. Aku tak kacau korg tak payah laa nak kacau aku!

friends.

2010-04-10T04:31:00.000-07:00

I'm back from my design & technology extra class. After class Farah and me went to wm to find something. We were like bodoh gitu cari all around westmall but did not bother to search properly at theactual shop. When we found the something farah was telling the salesgirl the whole story how we went around finding that something eventhough the salesgirls did'nt ask her anything. FARAH STEP GEREK SEH!

The changes that I told myself to make in 2010 was not to interfere in any conflicts or misunderstanding between my friends. So now I'm trying my best to keep the changes but since i feel that the situation im going to stress out maybe have something to do with me so I will post about it. I'm just not sure if everything "insertname" post on her fb have anything to do with me? If it really have something to do with me I rather that i'm told for my mistake rather that being in the dark. I don't want to be know tak ingat jasa when I have problems she was there to advice me and guide me not to turn back and keep going. It may seems that I'm avoiding you and her but to tell you the true now I'm not use to be with only the five of us. I like to be in big groups cos I feel the more people the more fun we have.

whatever you think of me, you are still my friend to me eventhough we are not close.

I will never forget the good deeds you ever make to me.

without him.

2010-04-04T06:58:00.001-07:00

Actually there was no plan for yesterday but paul & yi chou ask me if I wanted to follow them and syed to skatepark so i agreed. When I was about to go out syed call to say that he was not going. That one I don't mind cos there is still paul & yi chou. When I reach redhill yi chou msg saying that paul say he don't want to go skatepark cos its drizzling so I plan we meet at rc to lepak only. He don't expect me to turn back right. Yi chou was late so I went rc first. Paul is a stupid pig that I , yi chou and joel had to wait for him till 9 at night for him to go down. Dinesh sat with us for awhile, he made so many jokes that I can't stop laughing. Its all because of joel's random question. Dinesh ask me who is my boyfriend now? I show him my sad face and say don't have, haha. He ask again Paul ur ex right? then I answered yes. He said wahh, that idiot damn playful. Every sentence dinesh say will always make me laugh. hahas. Too much laughing make me threw up. Eww, Its damn disgusting. First I was talking to paul and yi chou when suddenly a waterfall came out, hahas.
The boys were shock and started uttering rubbish. Yi chou ask paul something that make me interfere, Atlast i manage to let it out.

While I was waiting for bus with yi chou , I threw up again. Yi chou very cute sia, He cover his ears with his fingers cos he don't like to hear the sound of vomitting. He was asking me every minute "are you okay?" hahas. This is the most boring slacking time. You guys know why ? Cos moon ki is not with us. If its going to be like this every time we slack , I might as well stay at home and do house chores. Whey, anyone who read this don't tell yi chou and paul kay, later they sad , haha.

Vivo

2010-04-02T10:36:00.000-07:00

thanks to good friday , we get extra day off from school. Good good I like. So fast, now is already saturday. yesterday I woke up at 8 and accompany my parents to geylang market and have breakfast. I reach home around 1 plus and help my mom with the cooking, Its was very fun seh. haha. I thought I wont be going out but since nurfa approach me online if I want go vivo with her, I agreed and met her at tiong baru around 8 plus. We walk around buy chocolate, drink(make people have bad impression of us) and slack outside harbourfront centre for awhile and off we went home.

I chatted with moon ki just now. wahh, really miss him. He ask me now that he don't have do we still lepak. Its truth since he is not here I did'nt even lepak with yi chou , paul and others. Its really different without him around. I'll pray hard that moon ki will come back here during november hols.

The time now is 1.36a.m.

Lots of homework.

2010-03-30T07:49:00.000-07:00

My post going to be a short one as I don't want my blog to look dead. As you can see, I've alot of homework that I need to hand in tomorrow. The worst thing of all one is speech while one is malay composition. Its very horrible you know. I hope I will get over it by tomorrow.

SunDay

2010-03-28T06:06:00.000-07:00

Whole day at home is so much fun cos I gotten all the rest I needed. Yesterday the sec 3s na,nt & 4s na,nt had a flag day at somerset. That was the first time I did not ask for any donation as the weather was very hot and I have no mood to do it. Early morning I had my dnt extra class at 8 and ended around 10. I was confused at first cos I don't know who I want to follow to go for the cip. I told yi chou to ask sakti if I could go with him and he agreed but when I left the school sakti was not there yet then I heard that sakti was also going with shafiq all. I'm afraid to wait with them as I'm not close with them so I waited alone at a nearby bench. Sakti came and blah blah blah. took bas to somerset.

After cip we transform to home clothes but only ashey did not as nobody told her to bring, We walk around there at around 6 plus me and feezana left and meet fyqa at far east . Then meet fafaz at youth park. Around 8 plus feezana and I trained home.

_ _ _ _ _ _ msg me this:
uu, why does my heart tells me tat i love u?why do i
always keep thinking of you and no others?
why whenever i dpt ur msg my heart feel good?And
lastly WILL YOU BE MY GIRLFRIEND?I
promise nt to hurt u and will always make u smile..
Even if you don't accept me,atleast u knw that i, _ _ _ _ _ _
will always be waiting 4 u!
Atleast give me an ans so i knw whr is the line.

And my ans was a big NO !(studies is my top priority haha) girls , Don't you think its shits and nonsense?
My heart just don't feel anything when i got this msg. Like what i say I can't take anymore sweetalks I told him to give this msg to those girls who still believe in those so called melting words.
People who are reading this may think that I don't have a heart and why am I doing this?
Ever imagine what girls get in return when they say YES soon after getting this shits?
Sometimes I wonder where do boys get this stupid words? which website eh? haha.

school

2010-03-25T06:13:00.001-07:00

School was normal and i love physical education today, blast! After school straight away me,farah,shara and adlina went to meet mdm y at the nearby block to pay a visit to the girl. I pray for her and may she rest in peace. Waiting for the fnn student was bored so we decide to meet Kart at wm to have our late lunch at KFC.I can't stop laughing at KFC with the rest. There were funny thing everywhere. haha.

Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out

Back to school.

2010-03-23T06:34:00.002-07:00

yeay! I manage to stop myself from being addictive to be absent from school. So I went to school and gave mdm y the letter which my father had wrote for me. I feel that the letter was sarcastic seh. My father really have a habit of being sarcastic, sometimes my brother will say "thats why luh adk suke sindir orang, ayah lupe nye yg ajar."haha.

So after school when to meet mama at tiong baru plaza to have lunch with yuliz. Sorry yuliz if my mom talk alot. haha. Btw i just chat with moon ki just now. First I was shock suddenly he said ellisa!!!!!!! i miss you so much!!! haha. then I was vey happy like atlast I get the chance to chat with him since the day we bid farewell. He was telling me that he is trying to talk to his father as he wants to come back to spore to study, so maybe in a few weeks time he will be back. Pray hard okay guys.

Some people just have lack of communications skills so they will blame other people when they have any misunderstanding. Next time if you feel that people keep finding fault with you or make you angry try to reflect back is there something wrong with your attitude? Do you need to make any changes. Sometimes you just have to stop blaming others and correct your mistake. Thats what Im starting to do now when I feel people are always finding fault with me.

life isn't always easy, it's full of tough decisions and heartache,and things don't always work out the way we hoped.life just doesn't come with guarantees. and while it's true that sometimes,by avoiding taking a chance on people, we can avoid some heartache,we might also miss out on the best times of our life. don't be afraid to love.

Advanced RYLA.

2010-03-22T02:08:00.001-07:00

yeaay! Atlast Im back from my camp. RYLA camp was also like a leadership camp for us to upgrade ourself to become great leaders in the future & in our cca. The camp was abit slack as one of the highlight was cancelled due to the weather.(I was the one praying hoping it will rain hahs.)

One the first day we arrived late as we went to meet moon ki for the last time cos we will not be able to tag along with the others to sentosa and airport.I don't wish to elaborate much about my camp. I know the organiser wanted to sabo me and my friends. We were number 1 from each group. I was lucky that in my group there were others who have the red landyards. red landyards symbolise leaders . Farisme was the one who were always volunteer to be leader of our group. I love my group cheers. My group name was called "DAREvil".I did not attend school today. I felt really tired. Yuliz semangat pergi skola. hahs

You're not worth the tears,you're not worth the heartache,I don't know why I give you the time.You're not worth the pain, you're not worth the emptiness. I don't know why I wish you were mine. I'm sorry for crying over you, because I said I wouldn't.But I didn't promise you that, because I knew it would be a promise I would never be able to keep.

camp

2010-03-18T08:59:00.001-07:00

I will be away for camp.

speechless

2010-03-17T09:12:00.000-07:00

Just came back from shop with mama & Dad. Camp is coming in 2 days time. I'm finding a sweater for camp as brother don't let me borrow his sweater. Today I had my DnT extra class again at 10.30. After our DnT, me, farah and yuliz waited for tutor. Haha. kn farah? Actually we don't quite understand what he teach but we are very thankful to him for teaching us.

May you never forget what is worth remembering, nor ever remember what is best forgotten

“Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering.

2010-03-16T05:05:00.001-07:00

I try to talk to you, but I don't know what to say. I am afraid you don't want me to say anything. So I don't. But inside of me there are words waiting to come out.And tell you how I feel like & how I miss you. And how I love you despite my broken heart. And how I need you in my life. And especially how much I want you. But those words may forever stay in my heart-locked inside.Sometimes I wonder if there are words locked inside you too... but I'll never know

I know you have someone new waiting for you(:

I know I'm going to feel jealousy sooner or later right?

Have You Ever Love & Lost Someone

2010-03-15T06:53:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling more complicated day by day. Today I went for my mt extra class and try to solve some of the maths homework booklet under a block near school. I think I use my day wisely today and hopefully I will use it wisely for the whole week okay.

Did you ever love me when you were with me? I'm curious to get the answer,

There is an important difference between giving up and letting go

2010-03-13T08:10:00.000-08:00

which is me? I don't understand myself, Im not teaching myself to forget. First thing first, I'm grateful that I became your friend back which still wanna joke around & disturb. But that is also a disadvantage to let go of you from my heart & soul. I know I'm strong in going through all this, I have the courage to let go of you from my heart as and when I want and I have the patience to wait for you if its you that I really love.

why do I miss you ?
why do I care for you?
Why do I think of you before I sleep?

when you smile it made me feel I still have a chance,
when you start ignoring or beat me I feel that you are just letting out your anger to me
because of my irritaing attitude which was that ILOVEYOU.

So when is this going to end?
I think for now I will just respond to what you do.
you talk to me I talk ,
you ignore me, I also ignore you.

holidays here.
I really need to use it wisely.
study.study.study. Attend consultations and extra classes.
Practise questions given. Camp coming , sick sick faster come,
I don't wish to attend the camp at all ):

I miss him seh

2010-03-11T05:02:00.000-08:00

woahh, my school looks deserted now since the sec ones and threes have gone for their levels camps.We don't have any long queue during recess,haha. But I kind of miss the noise those people always make. Its seems like the school is not a school for the moment. Paul went for the camp as he have no other choice, I hope he is enjoying the camp(: Kind of miss him seh. faster come back kay tomorrow, I'll be waiting, haha.
My advance RYLA camp coming soon, I don't feel like going but I need to go as it has already been sponsored.
I'm following the flow but at the same time waiting. Frankly speaking, I don't think that I am wanting serious love cos I know that it not serious love I'm having now, Understand? I just miss those sec2 moments I had with him.

Love love love

2010-03-09T04:20:00.000-08:00

After a year of having to live without you I've realized I lost me when I lost you I miss you.

If I knew missing you was going to be a part of my life, I never would have let you in.
Most people love you for who you pretend to be to keep their love,
you keep pretending performing,You get to love your pretense.
They forget all about who they really are. If you try to remind them,they hate you for it.
They feel like you're trying to steal their most precious possession.

Fuck, Im gonna miss you boy):
I just don't understand myself,
Oh god, Just make my wis come true this once please,

It takes me one day to love you but a life time to forget you.

2010-03-08T04:28:00.000-08:00

It takes a couple seconds to say Hello,

but forever to say Goodbye.

Nothing hurts more than realising he meant

everything to you, but you meant nothing to him.

Love is a precious gift that people

try to hold onto until the end of time,

even when there is nothing left to hold.

You learn to like someone when you find out what makes them laugh,

but you can never truly love someone until you find out what makes them cry.

True love is when you have to watch a friend leave,

with the knowledge that you might never see him again.

But you know he'll be in your mind and heart forever...

Love starts with a smile,

Grows with a kiss,

and ends with a tear.

Saturday

2010-03-06T08:43:00.000-08:00

Like always saturday I will always spend my time at bukti batok with yi chou and other guy friends but this time with yuliz. Im happy that I don't need to go school for any extra class this week. haha. I decided to meet yuliz a lilttle late so we meet around 3 at tiong baru MRT and headed to bukit batok to meet moon ki and paul first as yi chou will be arriving late due to his tuition. The boys are very lazy ended up we need to meet them at moon ki's house. From there we take a scroll at westmall then went to skatepark. This week paul skate alone as shukri and syed could not make it.

To find fault is easy,to do better is difficult.

2010-03-05T06:00:00.000-08:00

My throat is making me laugh at my ownself. I woke up late and I still had flu so I decided to sleep back.Eventhough, I suffer from a bad sore throat but Im happy for my friends and classmate for doing their best for the sports heats. I shout when farah is running, yuliz, kart, ainun, naz, paul and more. So thats what happen to my throat.

I don't know whats happening to my own love life but I know I am fine regardless of anything and everything.
I know that I am just hoping on a 10% hope but is not wrong to keep admiring him eventhough the result is to face the fact he has he own choice. fcuked , I don't know why Im saying all this (:

liars begin with making falsehood appear truth .

2010-03-03T05:42:00.000-08:00

Im stuck with flu right now. Cut your act,i dont need to watch one. Whats your motive calling me and asking where am I ? and what is your YOUR motive suddenly send the msg wrongly. *showing my middle finger to you both*, stop bothering my life and making me like an idiot that care about you both which is not the real situation of course !

Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.

On his side talking non stop about him

2010-03-02T05:43:00.000-08:00

You are hook to him or you had misunderstanding, I don't have the time to entertain.
Im happy for all my test eventhough some are just average but the little effort paid off (:

Is that better ?

2010-03-01T03:38:00.000-08:00

Do you think he is so good/perfect that you go around boasting about him and telling people he is fcuking good ? Im not jealous but I just feel irritated by the way you go around telling all that .Do you think that he , your friend does not have any bad points ?I don't even care if you envy him you can go around talking to others about him BUT please not me.I have enough of those .Get the point okay ,

I laugh alot today with farah since breaktime because of that random boy and can't stop laughing till school ends.But I don't know why I have the sudden urge to open my book and finish my maths homework at school.I want to be like how I was just know,can I ?Only for studies .I'll be normal when it comes to weekend.Sounds great but Im not sure if I can do that.Practise make perfect,haha .
People can sometimes show change out of the sudden but why can't I ? Its not an offence if its for my own good especially if it concerns studies ? Agree ?

trying

2010-02-28T03:57:00.000-08:00

Have you ever felt that feeling whenever you see someone, you freeze and your heart starts to beat so fast and you have to hold on to something so you wouldn’t fall? Sometimes when they talk to you, do you utter stupid words and end up embarrassing yourself? It’s not that you want it, but just the presence of that person makes your heart beat faster and slower at the same time. Would you be brave and admit your feelings? What if it’s simply not meant to be, do you give up? Or keep trying and end up with nothing? Well, that’s love. Its irony speaks, but you got to take risks to get answers. When you meet someone and you gradually fall in love with that person, try to express your love to her/him because every moment you wasted would be equal to tons of regret in the end. Don’t wait until it’s too late to tell someone how much you love, how much you care. Because when they are gone, no matter how loud you shout and cry they won’t hear you anymore.The love you can’t have lasts the longest, feels the strongest and hurts the most. It’s so hard pretending to be friends with someone special when every time you look at that person it just hurts even more knowing that all you see is ultimately everything that you want but you can’t have. Isn’t it stupid when you say, “no, I don’t love that person anymore.” But still, when the memories are refresh and that person become visible again in your life. You’ll stare and say, “Damn it! Why can’t I forget you?” So each time I see you, I say to myself, “I moved on.” Each time you smile at me, I say to myself, “yeah, were just friends!” But every time you look at me, I end up saying, “Shit! It’s so hard to pretend!” It’s hard to love someone who is not serious enough. Time would give you chances to talk, chances to be together and chances to share. See how it hurts?! You only have chances, just chances.A heartbreak isn’t as loud as a bomb exploding. Sometimes it can be as quiet as a feather falling and the most painful thing is no one really hears it except you. You can handle the pain that you feel and make others believe that you can move on. But you can never deny the truth to yourself that the person who failed and hurt you is still the person you’ll choose to love. I cried so many times because of a love lost and a love I never really had. I suffered pain worse than dying. But feelings change and there’s one lesson that everybody should learn in time…move on. You can’t finish a book without closing its chapters. If you want to move on, then you have to leave the past as you turn the pages. Love is not destroyed by a single failure or won by a single caress. It’s a lifetime venture in which we are always learning, discovering and growing. The greatest irony of love is letting go when you need to hold on and holding on when you need to let go. We lose someone we love only when we are destined to find someone else who can love us even more than we can love ourselves. Learn to appreciate the rainbow after cursing the rain. It’s just like loving again after experiencing pain. Loving someone can’t be proven with just the way you feel, the words you say or the things you give. If you’ve ignored yourself and sacrificed your own happiness for the one you love, you know what love means.

I was out the whole day yesterday with my uniform. It sucks I tell you but fun.Meet farah and kart for mt extra class but was cancelled due to certain reasons.It made me waste 3 additional hours of sleep! So decided to go westmall to waste time as my class was having class decoration which started at 2 and ended at around 6.I decided to follow syed and yi chou to skatepark and meet shukri,paul and vick.I fall again while skating,damn pain.Last time was forward this time is backwards.My butt hurt.Thats what happen if you try to go up a slope when you know you cant,haha.Meet sakti at his house around 11 with yi chou and syed.Sakti was shocked to see me,he told me to go home before midnight cos later there will be extra charge.He and the others accompany me down . On our way to find a taxi sakti family came out from a taxi . Sakti quickly turn to me and handed me 20 buck for my taxi fare and told me to go in . Thanks you sakti for the money , I repay you alright (:

Must is a must to forget .

2010-02-26T06:39:00.000-08:00

It seems a miracle that a bold person like you, Nur could be friends with a shrinking violet like your friend, insertname. However, you do have an affinity for each other, mostly because you admire each other's strengths. For instance, you wish you could possess insertname uncanny ability to say the precisely the right thing at the right time. Similarly,insertname reveres the way you get what you want, even at the risk of appearing uncooperative or unreasonable. Sure, insertname reclusive ways can drive you up the wall, while insertname isn't fond of your bossy behavior. For the most part, however, you balance each other quite nicely, especially when engaging in mutual interests like surfing, film-making and volunteer work.

shara,thank for the advice you gave me. I promise to try my best to forget about him. Promise to guide me along (:

Weird feelings

2010-02-24T05:22:00.000-08:00

I just feel like blogging even though I told you guys I will only post on Friday or weekends , haha .
I had my mt test paper 2 just now it was quite difficult and my maths common test . The common test was average . tomorrow there is social studies and history test , OMG ! I've not yet done my revision but can still remember some points , maybe I want to wake up 4 in the morning to study like what i did this morning . Thanks to sakti for the idea and for waking me up . The subject Im most stress with is DnT , Its killing me with the design consideration and image board but its a relieved that I have found a problem . Im not sure if i make the right move of taking DnT O-level but never mind I'll try my best to do the very best .

I have weird feeling about this . Only Shara and Adlina know as they are the ones close to me in class . Adlina is on my left while shara is on my right haha . I agree with you shara , I think its the best for me not to start growing to have those feelings and just ignore that and take it that nothing ever happened before between me and him . Start hating and stop loving :)

What you want from me ?

2010-02-20T08:09:00.000-08:00

Im really pissed off by her . I don't understand whats the problem she have with me ? She is not even my friend so why is she using my name ? Its because of her I was scolded for nothing . Its becuase of her I was stress up wanting to know the true . Don't blame me if she will be my biggest enemy .

I think next week will be like a test week for us right ? Better start preparing before we start to regret guys . Im catching up well in physics and hope for the rest of the subject .

short hols .

2010-02-14T03:11:00.000-08:00

Okay , yesterday I spend half my day with shara at botanic garden . I think it paid off . The views were nice but most visitors were couples . ohh shit ! jealous . I thought of meeting him after that so I don't need to meet him next week but cant as he is going to his grandma house .

I reach home around 6 plus . Mom and dad told me to follow them go shop eventhough i felt tired I followed cos I know for sure there will be something I want . The salon attracted me and I told my mom I want to cut my hair . The hair cut cost her $25 as I don't know that there is extra charge for CNY .

He is a bit of matrep , but he is kind . he only smoke and he is in express stream .

Give him a chance or a big NO ?

cross country CUM ashy's birthday

2010-02-12T05:29:00.000-08:00

here is the picture baba wanna see ,
see , how into dance are they .

ashy , happy sweet sixteen , that was what we afford to do for you . I hope you love it , sorry for the bashing . May you be more brave in handling stuffs in life . love you babe .

Go fly kite .

2010-02-10T04:52:00.000-08:00

Woah ! That girl , I really don't understand her motive of asking me that in fb . report ? Rubbish or what ? I have better things to do then to report about that asshole OR is this the same old trick he had used to me before and now he is doing it to her ? hahaha *evil laugh* BUT if its true that he is really going to be charged becos of some other girls then what I can do is only give him a round of applause for being such a dog all this while .

bz with school stuffs , bye .

meeting and out with friends

2010-02-06T07:25:00.000-08:00

Today was not like all the previous saturday I had this year . Its more fun . Left home around 7.30 am to meet baba at tiong baru as we are going for our meeting with the Rotarians . Like what ashey post in her blog eventhough we don't understand what they are discussing about but we manage to catch some of the good points that the Datuk told us . After the meeting went for breakfast , rounding in bugis street and off back home . First decided to go out with nurfa but since she will be going out with farah so I should understand that she is tired . I decide to meet feezana then discuss where to go . We met fazana , kak nurul and her bro .

They accompanied me to wm to buy school shoe but theres no small size , "ohh so sad." Went to have early dinner at mufiz (ashey betol kate kao , sodap seh ) . Meet yi chou and moon ki at wall and of to lilttle Guilin . After taking much pictures we went back to bukit batok . We went separate ways . The boys and me went to meet vick , shukri and paul at st 25 while they go home . We played art attack ! haha , Its fun but painful . ( yuliz sorry but your boyfriend is a coward all scared ) . I wanted to go home around 9 but atlast I went home at 10 plus by cab .

paul cb , my phone now cant on its all ur fault . I kick you again then you know .

hahs , that all , I wanna do some of my homework now .

I Ever Know

2010-02-05T06:17:00.000-08:00

This is the right time for me to blog I guess . I repay teachers retest and manage to finish my history test today . Its friday , as usually tomorrow , me and Excos members going to bugis intercontinental for a meeting with the rotarians . I plan of going out after that but I've yet confirm . In the three lesson I had today I manage to pay attention in maths class ONLY . I tried my best . How do I understand myself ? How do I know if Im in love again ? How do I know if is impossible ?

My maths teacher made us realise how much more time we have left ? Nina and me was amused with teacher's answer . How can we be serious when we both kept eating and finding things that can make us laugh and awake BUT not paying attention . Now I've been kick out from english class because of my childish and immature atttitude . If really I have problems paying attention in class why don't all my subject teachers kick me out of the class like you do ? You are just over reacting . Standard , No crushes but still in love .

cramps everywhere

2010-01-31T05:18:00.000-08:00

firstly I'm getting more and more lazier to update my blog . But I'll still try to update when Im totally free . Installation had just passed . One burden gone but will be more coming for sure .

many test coming this week . physics tomorrow , hist tuesday and more . I've to start being serious in studying . I say that everytime but the percentage of me paying attention in class is only about 75% . How ? I thought that now that I've got my spectacles it have solve my problem of paying attention but no its not .

Friends , Im praying for you guys . I hope they are not harsh okay ? If only we could turn back the clock . Im happy and sad for friday midnight to saturday morning . Anyway I'm not jealous okay , I just felt that my heart was cracking and crushing . You destroy it all in times . But I'll promise to get over it sooner or later .

now I'm going to bed .

(Its my turn cant upload picture )

Its going to be busy

2010-01-24T03:45:00.000-08:00

since school started i did'nt have the chance to go home early . Installation coming soon . Mom had made me a pair of specs . yes ! Its like atlast and i don't need to borrow from nazhar anymore , pity him . I tried to avoid you from every corner of the school but fail , its not so possible to stop staring or peeping you . Everytime you are about to leave the school , I will be at some stupid corner of the school talking to myself and wishing you goodbye . I know Im somehow retard . well just go on like normal and fake a smile each and everyday .

Studies come first at the moment . Im trying my best to understand what teachers are teaching and understanding maths formula which are very complicated . Am i going to stayback again at school for the whole week . my saturdays are all spend in school .I need to stop day dreaming in class and sleeping and laughing .

fade away as much as you can , I'll be the most happy :)

dance off your feet

2010-01-19T05:30:00.000-08:00

School have not been too great , I think I have to start my revision regularly . After school went to had our meals and headed to malay room to practise for interact installation . Make stupid , funny and enjoyable video . I and ashey had made up our mind on the song . I felt that the most convenient song . right ashey ?

you are avoiding , I know that , I try to kept my promise and still trying .

"my eyebrow " :( how ?

Whats gonna happen next ? blame the future not the past .

parven and others have been giving me suggestion about my eyebrow . what am I suppose to do with it ?

A fresh post from the oven .

2010-01-16T02:41:00.000-08:00

hello , now im in the library at bukit merah with yuliz (baba) . We are doing our history homework and now we are done ! woohuu ! Im sorry for not posting for a long time blame it on my auntie .

Farah showed me something interesting in reader's digest . let me with you .
"kids tend to dig in and act defiant when their parents over control every little move ."
when a " boss child" doesn't learnt limits at home , the stage is set for a host of troubles outside the family . the overly wilful , persistent and inflexible child may have trouble obeying teachers , for example or trouble keeping friends .they bend too far because they don't want to be as strict as their own parents were . but they also feel less competent about their parenting skills . their kids in turn feels more anxious .
(i did not edit a single word ) but i think its truth , so if you think your friend like to throw temper at you forgive them cause that not their mistake .

I make friends with a cute guy . hahs .
his name same with syg kart . but he is more handsome eventhough he is a mat .

his name is khairudy . wuuhoo !

blog dead

2009-12-27T07:48:00.000-08:00

I'll be busy for the moment as im moving house . sorry if my blog will be dead for the time being .

echa :)

stuck in the mess

2009-12-23T08:27:00.000-08:00

Im lazy to post for this few days . Mom had pay the deposit for the new rental house . If God willing we will be in on the 29 th . Went to school , intention to grab the sec 1 but end up with just giving away of bookmarks . After school had our breakfast plus lunch at the voideck , again cup noodle . On our way to bukit batok mrt station we went to westmall to accompany shara buy her school shoe . Slack at lot one with farah and nurfa about three plus I think me and nurfa make a move . Im not jealous of couples but its annoying to have couple pushing you in a train which is not crowded .

Sometimes I make jokes in the bathroo by my ownslef hahs . Make silly mistakes like shampooing ur hair with shower foam and many more . After bathing I and syahril ( my cousin ) went to the shop to buy chocolate as we were like really craving for some . After that we went to check the mail box if the letter we were waiting have given a reply. After he turn the key and open the mailbox door i shout huuray !

Our bursary letter are here . The sad part me and syahril are not sure what kind of bursary we get . Syahirah and syafiqah had different bursary from us . haiys, hope for the best okay syahril , hahas :)

Im restless for all the thing that are happening for silly reasons , Stop it will you . Can't you try to change not for me or others but for ur own good . I don't have any best friends cos I don't need one . I just need friends that can appreciate me for who I am , I know people have their own kind of attitude but try not to show tantrums at friends always . You say you don't want anyone to know but with your face everyone will know sooner or later . Hows the life of sec 4 going to be ?

i cant upload picture :(

out again

2009-12-19T06:29:00.000-08:00

I met yuliz at redhill around 1.30 then we went to meet yi chou , sakti , leslie , naz , farid and paul at a voideck near to IMM . Some were playing soccer while some were playing cards . aiyoo ! i damn mad at the ball , every time someone kick the ball the ball always hit me , ergh ! Around 4 plus me , yuliz , sakti and yi chou went to gombak . Went to sakti house and ate noodle cup at the voideck . yi chou , sakti and his brother wanted to go play pool at boon lay since i don't wish to go home early and can't go home early i tag along . yuliz went home first as she need to reach home early . When to boon lay near adlina house meet some of sakti brother's friends and I follow them play pool . I and yi chou left around 8 as yi chou need to rush of for a reunion dinner . hahs . i had a great day to today :)

adlina sorry for making a false alarm on you . I ask you to call me urgently cos sakti ask me to call you quickly . sorry for disturbing you .

sakti thanks for the $2 :) hahs ,

lil romeo

2009-12-18T07:22:00.000-08:00

today is the day i got myself a rest . I was at home the whole day , since 4 in the afternoon till now i've been facing the lappy , now is 11.23p.m . Atlast shafiq tagged at my blog after viewing for so many times . wow ! shamani is inviting me and some friends to her house for christmas , hahs :) wow ! i forget about this cute boy when i was browsing , LIL ROMEO ! hahs , The first time i saw him acting was in honey the movie . He was damn cute with his lips and the way he raps . tomorrow Im meeting yi chou and yuliz cos I have enough rest at home today . anyone want to tag along ? but we will only be slacking at bukit batok , anything just text me okay :) maybe the more the merrier .

restless as i can be

2009-12-17T09:01:00.000-08:00

A day out with feezana . Around evening went to her house . Im tired been out for days but not because i want but have to follow .

mom plan of moving house by next week , but im not sure bout that sometimes i just can't be to happy cos sometimes something just crop up out of sudden .

now chatting with shafiq and sakti :)

1.10a.m

2010 coming so

2009-12-15T08:23:00.000-08:00

Went out with mom around three plus . first we went to tampiness to print some CPF statement then when to century square and buy a simple dress . Out of century square meet mak long and proceed to her house . chill there till eight plus and went back home .

I was talking to farah on the phone just now . 2010 coming we need a new AZAM ( i'm not sure how to translate it in English ) . Farah and her three bestie had work out on their AZAM .

So happy for them , now is my turn . my AZAM is to try my best to study for my upcoming major examinations , just don't wish to bother in any friends conflict that does not involve me if can i don't wish to help in any conflict . Farah you know what i mean , haha . Just stop all those laughter , time to control . my AZAM in love i'm still not sure , I'm only sure my AZAM for school . I just hope my AZAM that i have type out won't go waste in the drain .

I still have lots of things that I have not bought for next year

my spectacles. ( mom promise to make for me before school reopen )
school shoes .

school books .

school bag ( optional )

RYla

2009-12-13T06:03:00.000-08:00

wow the camp was awesome . i cried on the first and second day as i was really missing my mom badly . i just can msg her one time per day . thanks to yuliz , farah and nurfa who were always there to stop me from crying . first day it was very miserable when they organise us into different group for the rooms . Farah and nurfa were lucky as they were not seperated . As my room was next to yuliz . i just took my bag and when to move to her room . haha . We had six meals a day . Rotarians made many activities for us one of them is beach/jungle trekking . thanksgod we were not lost . It was really challenging but we manage to overcome every obstacle . yesterday night we had our talentnight , Its was a nice one , i was from a group call "power pink" which were made of many malaysian . after each team had show their talent . The dance floor was open . farah and me were not so good in dancing but nurfa and yuliz were dancing off and on the stage . yuliz was perspiring like just finishing a shower. We dance with alot of people . There was a time when me and farah was having our break and this ite guy pull us to dance with them . farah dance with amirul while i dance with hady . We also had a bbq dinner . Its was super yummy . i love the lobster . last but not least there is a guy name jeevan(not too sure bout the spelling) who really looks like sakti , his attitude is also abit like sakti . he is close to farah right ?

haha . i like seeing him joking with farah , haha . In this camp i've learnt some moral values like conflict resolution and managing relationship . On our way home from cck mrt station we saw wawan ! farah was like whispering to me "eh , wawan" dye telinge tikos ah , pelan pn boley dengar . he turn and wave with a smile . haha , soo cute .

Feezana's.

2009-12-10T03:38:00.000-08:00

Hello! Today in the morning nurfa,echa,farah & yuliz went ryla camp for interact. Hmm, i guess i started to miss them and how i wish to be with them now. Hopefully they having fun at the resorts so now my job is to look after echa's blog. People, no spamming okay? You spam, i ban for her. Haha,easy? so must get it! I didn't meet echa for the last time before she went johor. Yes, we should meet on 7dec but i didn't join them to watch basketball competition at indoor stadium but instead of me going, sister went. Lucky for her get to meet echa and farah. So i guess, i'll be back tmr? Haha, miss those sweethearts up there! plus i change blogskins for echa. Nice? :D

Sincerely,feezana(:

Away!

2009-12-09T00:58:00.000-08:00

i'll be away for four days for interact camp , so my blog will be dead at the moment . now im busy packing for the last minute .

life- im doing fine ,

love - WTH

friends -okay , no conflict .

the love that may last the longest feels the strongest and hurt the most

while im away , don't spam my blog okay :)

ellisa

2009-12-05T07:39:00.000-08:00

sorry for not updating im lazy and tired . i love my celebrations with friends and family ,

thanks for everything love ones .

farah thanks for the preparing of celebration :) the cake was delicious

the advance wish , celebrations .

the first to wish me at 12 was feezana follow by sakti then paul .

and the rest .

farah ,shamani , ashy , feezana , adlina , nurfa , kart and shara thanks for making my life happy .

the love you cant have last the longest feels the strongest , hurt the most ?

im worried

2009-11-30T07:06:00.000-08:00

my hair is freaking me out ! Its getting thinner . my brother kept teasing me that I have leukemia . If really i have leukemia Em its going be the end of me . aha .

tomorrow I'm schooling at last manage to get out of the house . I've been stuck at home for three days with my brother but today he manage to escape the misery as he persuade some of his friend to go with him . Hope tomorrow going to be a good day . I'm going good . :) (out of pictures:)

eat eat

2009-11-29T04:11:00.000-08:00

since this friends are back , i did'nt have the chance to meet or chat with them . hope soon right dodo ! miss you girls :)

yesterday i fight with him just because of that stupid step cute boy , ergh .
did'nt get the chance to say goodbye . im not sure if he is going for long . farah msg me in the morning telling me that he msg with sakti . farah was very sad like i was . i straight away cry and go to bath . what a bad start of the day .
hope shamani is fine :) cheer up babe :)

my day - i was at home the whole day with brother . we were watching americans best dance crew or whatsoever im not sure about the title . from the first episod to the 9th episod .

2009-11-27T02:35:00.000-08:00

I thought of posting yesterday night but i was home late and tired . today is hari raya haji and I'm at home . my family wanted to visit my grandfather but he is at the mosque helping out for the whole day . so we just stay at home . yesterday i was out with feezana again . first i accompanied her to school to return some form and headed to her house till night .

im not sure what to post now . maybe later night i post again .

echa lohan :)

I SURVIVED :')

haha , us two

2009-11-25T07:57:00.000-08:00

241109-yesterday i was out with cousins as my mom told me to follow them and my aunty only trust me to go out with her . what i didnt expect to happen did happen , my cousins which i thought was the decent type has a BOYFRIEND . first she told me she wanted to meet her friend , she did meet her friend BUT after she meet her boyfriend . i was like a dumb person following her around . she was influence by her other cousins seriously not me , im totally not too active in boys at the moment . you know , "moving on ". maybe she don't have enough freedom . i will keep every secrets i have about her in my pocket as big as my pocket can fit .
im just worry that her mom may think that im the one who teach her those things .

251109-i accompany my mom to the geylang market . woahh , i like , haha . first i saw the boys who acted in the malay cerpen "segaris sinar"who was like the leader of the others . he is quite handsome but too bad he wore the typical bag , haha . Then as i always wanted to see the boy at one of the stall . i saw him . ohhrr , so cute , ergh , reach home rest , around six plus meet feezana at paya lebar and we went for a karaoke . Its was very fun but only a hour not enough budget . haha . many strangers kept following us like a stalker . we were always running here and there . Today i laugh alot with her . you see , i don't need her to be my sexy friend to have a great laugh . haha :)

im at home the whole day

2009-11-23T07:18:00.000-08:00

mom woke me up at 10 plus when she was going to work . i feel like i woke up early .

first thing first , i bath and ate my breakfast . hmm , some chocolate roll i guess . The "mari sembayang" book attracted my attention of learning . i tried to learn and call ashy for confirmation , haha . people may laugh at me , ergh .

so after i learn , i sembayang dzuhur . erm , quite thrilling but i tried, like stupid right , only for a time . maybe i need someone to asist me , its hard studying alot . tmrw mom not working can try ask her for help . no need to elaborate the rest , i was just at home wasting my time .

now im chating with paul and shamani . okay luh , i never use the word whatever la instead i use anything ah . can ? shamani , count down okay , sakti will be home soon . my blogskin , thanks to ashy for changing it . :)

anyway im not friends with anti-liverpool , im just tagging ohhkay .

echa lohan :)

YIA ,got talent .

2009-11-22T08:58:00.001-08:00

you think im waiting for who ?

nurfa n ellisa

farah and echa

today was the day me and some girlfriends show our talents to the others yia member at one people . Its was quite fun eventhough i was really excited . we were awarded with the teamwork award . Its quite good for a first timer . After that we celebrated our winning at chinese garden . we took some pictures while eating the hamper that was given to us . had another great day with girlfriends :) thanks fer making me happy again girls .

life go on as per normal for me , i pretend not to do any flashback but deep inside me only god knows how it feel . i just have to put a stop to all this uttering . blahblah , bluek !

echa lohan :0

i love uu but uu are not the one ,

2009-11-21T09:03:00.000-08:00

some friends have gone for a week or five days , hmm , going to miss them . hope they are fine there :)

i don't know what to post but im sure everythings is over right ? i just have to smile and let everything go . stop refreshing the memories . eventhough it takes time but its a must to move on . life still goes on without him , i cant be weak and cry at times .

echa lohan ,

most thrilling part of moving on in love

2009-11-19T06:31:00.000-08:00

A creative shot by my cousin :(

i realise most of my friends want their ex back not the people they admire . Its really funny how this kind of things happen . we were blamed for not treasuring them from top to bottom now we are the one crawling back to them . but why cant we be given the chance back like how we had gave them before . Its not that im digging the past back but im puzzle seeing how things work in this world . now im posting while im cover with my blanket and listening to feezana mp3 . wow ! her songs are all about sad love story . feezana ! you should really move on eventhough you want him but you could move on while waiting not stuck in this kind of situation . shamani ! after you advice me yesterday i really was very touched and cried before sleeping but really everything you say was true . i really want to move on but i keep turning back . im really a promise breaker , i told myself i will move on if he really tell me that i cant be with him but when he told me i just cant do it . my words speak louder then my actions right friends ?

The word "MOVE ON "is really irritating , i don't know how long will i hear that word . maybe after im over everything ? have a new boyfriend ? have my first child ? haha . i want to be proactive but its really not possible .

i just feel like typing this lyrics ,

sorry guys but im really stuck :(

lately i've been thinking bout what i can do ,

im stressing to far back in love with you ,

i remember how we came close like how i wanted to be .

i wanted you to see me through in all .

i want you to hold me in my sleep .

i think i should reach for the finish line .

farah you are right , i should not be selfish and know how they felt ,

i have to understand why they are always together .

echa lohan .
iknowthereisnowayforustobetogetheragainbutthelovethatyougavemebeforeisstillinmyheartanditsveryhardtovanishit

angry with mom

2009-11-17T06:09:00.000-08:00

im frustrated with mom . From six in the evening i waited for her to go shop with me but till now its already 10 plus she is still not home . she is with dad . nevermind luh i think after i sleep then she will call me . she had three days of off days but since yesterday she have been meeting dad . i know she miss him but thats not the way . she is starting her old habit . MoM , i hope you now how to balanc your time with me and dad . im still stuck with fever and cough .

echa lohan :)

im happy with everything now .

2009-11-12T04:58:00.000-08:00

i finally manage to let out everything , woooahh ! at that bubble T at my tagbox , thanks fer tagging , okay i understand . finally you told it to me personally . friends okay ? :)

im moving on and there is no but ! haha . cheer up cheer up that what i wil always do .

im too happy to post , haha . day was bored at home .

echa lohan .,

im moving on , i believe BUT

2009-11-11T07:28:00.000-08:00

The paragraph im going to post is for someone only people close to me will know .

im sorry for letting out my feelings to you eventhough you don't ask me to . i hope this is the best before everything ends . im sure that you know i've been waiting for you to be mine again but cant due to different reasons . im not sure if its wrong for me to confess my feelings to you but i'll try .i know after reading this you are going to say WHATEVER , go ahead and say i won't mind . i will accept every respond you give . so hard to move on for me . im still holding on some memories of us . i remember the time i was talking on the phone with you , you were telling me about you parents plan of bringing you back to your hometown because you were not behaving . i was under the bed crying non stop cos i could not bear to let go of you and i was really in love with you . fortunately you were there to calm me down and stop me from crying . Even there was a time when you cry with me remember ? talking about grandparents haha . i think if now you know tat im crying you won't do all that again instead laughing at me . its useless right to regret of not taking the chance you gave . now stuck in this sorry state . this msg is not for you to sympathise with me but my way of letting out my feelings . if we were still joking and talking like how we use to , i don't think i wil be posting this . im sure you know that i had tried many ways to get you back , stupid ways . going school regularly and always passing through your voideck . approach you online with stupid reasons . haha . sorry for being irritating but i cant help it . haha

sorry :( echa lohan .

apprieciate it if you could

im lazing to post about my day , been crazy with friends doing stupid wishy stuffs .

what should i do next ?

2009-11-05T06:07:00.001-08:00

shots with cousin:)

woke up to go school , but was very tired so decided not to go school , slept until 9 plus . but still when to bukit batok need to give something to a friend . meet farah , nurfa , kart and yuliz outside school then went to westmall to buy food at burger king after that we went to eat at the rc near westmall .few hours later meet yi chou and rauf atlast went home .

To shara : no worries , i and others won"t be involve with the you hate her thing ,

my mind still in a mess , im no sure when im going to send pj those msg maybe should delete it instead of sending . im scared he is gonna reply WHATEVER when he received the msg .

friends please give me suggestion to send or not to ? if only shamani was here to help me , haha . miss her seh . tag at my blog okay for suggestion ? :)

now i have two wish that im not sure if it could be granted . First is to spent one day with pj alone and everything will end(really hoping on that *sobbing. ) Second is to watch ben 10 live performance on my birthday . Its so rare to find your favourite show to fall on your birthday .

actually there is a third one , hope to be talking to leslie back . hmm , i understand why he cant forgive me , neymind , i will accept it . i deserve this , this stupid big mouth when to tell azmie and razeme . im really sorry leslie :(

echa lohan

what sholud i do next ?

2009-11-05T06:07:00.000-08:00

photos

2009-11-03T04:48:00.000-08:00

friends , who wanted photos finally i have upload it in my multiply , thanks to ashy for helping me to link :) if try to upload as many as possible . friends , here fight , there fight . im also like that , somehow getting tired . so better pretend nothing happen . its been weeks and i have not yet send the message that i had edit and saving to draft not sure when is the right time to send him . i dunwan him to go bck to anywhere , im very sad to know that he retain . im really missing him .I remember the time i cry under the bed while talking to him when he said maybe his mother was sending him home . I really felt that i dunwan him to leave me on that time as i was depending my life to him and he calm me down . now he is not mine , how can he know i cry . he won't be calming me eventhough i cry like anything which is horrible . im starting to start turning bck .

leslie have not forgive me , have not talk to him :(

echa lohan :)

2009-10-30T08:13:00.000-07:00

wont be updating for the moment ,
broadband my aunty took .
haha , had a fun day today , i did not know yusoffians were that awesome ,
haha , and love going bck together ,,

leslie sorry for reading ur msg , i know im in the wrong ,
very sorry , promise not to do it again ,
:(

2009-10-24T10:29:00.000-07:00

hey stupid people !
even though uu guys did not laugh at her ,
don't ur friend know that she was upset by her result , so why bother disturbing her ?
don't uu guys have brain to thing ? aper ! korg tak bwk beg perh gye skolar ?takde org laen punye beg ke nak pakai ? jgn jady bodoh ah , ader otak laen kali pakai , si jantan tuh pn ader haty nak mengamok , padahal salah sendiri tak tawu nak pike ! bodoh sak korg !

2009-10-23T09:35:00.000-07:00

people like you guys ! are just bunch of idiots , are you guys As student? your studies aree also same standard as her 's ah . imagine you guys in her shoe , people laugh at you when you fail ,its like a primary school story huh . stupid seh , true or dare ? kiss in the class room ? use your brains luh , if im really mad i think this story will be at the teachers hand . im not so evil like you .
busok punya org ,

haha , tired ah wanna post long , just mad with some stupids classmates . i chat with paul , guess okay with him ready , like normals friends , the best right ? im also moving on , thanks shamani for the suggestion :) lepak after school at westmall then joel condo .

echa

exam over but !

2009-10-21T04:14:00.000-07:00

finally exams are over but i did not do well . im feeling really regret for not working more harder ,but what to do exams cant be taken again . im not quiet sure for other subjects , i know i pass my DnT (luckily there is prac to help me theory i score 22/100),history 29/50,mother tongue i remember 85% . i laugh at paul when sakti said he score 12/50 for social studies ,when i gotten back my paper i had13/50 . haha, stupid laugh at people somemore . i felt that i study more for final year but im not sure why i did mid year more better than final year .
im worry about telling my mother about all this , gonna get a kick form abg , haha

today is kartina's birthday , happy birthday to her yaw . don't sad2 aite :)
tmrw going out with some girlfriends but some not sure . haiys , i got this girlfriend who always got problem of going out , i always waste my saliva on her pestering her to go ,most of them she go ah but i just want to ask you will this have to happen everytime we ask you to go out ? sometimes she got problem with her clothes . she don't know what to wear and sometimes about others . Im not giving up on you friend but please luh try to change that attitude , overall you are okay but when comes to this part , i have no comment . tmrw also im not sure she is coming or not , after school her face like got problem oni , but im donoe why . im not giving up on you friend , just hope tmrw you will come without us to persuade you .

all loveones had gone , left me with no one . try to forget while waiting .
love uu and only uu .

out with girlfriends

2009-10-16T08:32:00.001-07:00

my friends have problems calling me in the morning as i was still snooring . haha .

today a day out with girlfriends , ashy , farah , nurfa and kart . i meet them at bugis about 3 plus . i was late eventhough i was near . sorry girls :)

when to eat at ljs . after that take mant scroll at bugis street . farah , kart and nurfa left early .

me and ashy stil were looking for shirts .

TO shara , i forgive uu . dye mula lagy luh , haha and i agree with uu .

To fazana : okayy thanks , i bear that in my mind .

To shamani : thanks for the advice babe !

i love him .

im tired ,

i don't know whats next ?

2009-10-15T08:55:00.000-07:00

i just don'w wish to talk to any of you guys at all for the moment . im tired of the conflicts that i have to face everytime , when i want to reply something back i just feel that is no use cause people might say that im only looking for people bad points but not mine . yuliz said it to you guys wrongly , i don't need a understanding friend , im just alright with what im like at the moment . im okay and happy going with farah at school , im not trying to make any one jealous or hurt anyone feelings especially ashy but going with farah can make me feel relax out of problem . this is my point of view To shara im not trying to talk back to you or what but to me there is no such thing as friendship destroyer like the saying that says it take two hand to clap right ? it okay if you dont understand , dont ask me , im lazy to elaborate .

nina , i read your lj . i have no conflicts with you guys , i am not in bad terms with you guys , im not having bad mood . i justwanted to be in silent . if i was in bad terms with you guys i wont bother fake a smile to you . i was not with you guys cause i don't wanna cry . i dont want you guys to hear my feelings . E ven when there was only ashy and yuliz at the mc , thay saw me crying , that is what i hate the most . i don't wish to be weak gain infront of shara , nina , ashy amd yuliz . that all ,

farah thanks ah tady all the way ngan aku , pecah perot ah ngan kau .

i had my dnt paper , i did not even understand a question .

i want my dream to be a reality .

boy wait for me at the gate .

everr try to takecare of this girl's feelings ?

ever try to takecare of my feelings ?

2009-10-14T02:21:00.000-07:00

forgive me for my wrong . my confession is true , i wont be close to her , i understand you . I don't understand why i just cant stop crying at this moment . Friends , family and love one never ever try to takecare of my feelings . i try my best to try to takecare of their feeling eventhough sometimes i fail to do that . am i really bad that i just cant be fragile . Adlina was also my close friend but i lose her too so i should know how shara feel , once again im sorry for making you sad , i didnt meant to be a friendship destroyer .

close friend , im just really sad , down , no words can describe my feelings now , maybe the tears that is flowing out . but im just feeling i don't have a really true friend to depend on . im just feeling like avoiding you guys cause seeing you guys make me more want to cry . no friends to be there when i need . i dont need your pity im just throwing everything out from my heart .

yey , but someone is okay with that .

2009-10-13T02:19:00.000-07:00

before all this things became worse i tried my best to solve , if you read my other post before this , i did say sorry for all the wrong doins i had done but none of you care . now im just telling you that when you are angry every words you say or type you want to make that someone hurt right ?yey , they are my true friend i cant deny but you are still my friend , i just donoe how you can be friends with them when they had cause many thing to you , seriously SOME of them are really morons not parven . i remember his good points . he was the one who paid for my entry fee to escape and to you fazana who paid for my food . i never ever called you morons but i just cant stand seeing some of ur friends . i was trying my best to stop calling them but they insist of calling me that . if you remember i called them moron because i was so mad for what they had done to you no other specific reason . another thing , i think your adk pn don't care about this cause i cant feel her concern . hmm , maybe only you and me want to save this friendship . haha

hmm , always conflicts , cant be avoid in life :)

yesterday i studied really hard for history only eventhough today i also had my maths paper two im not quiet sure if my effort really paid off , cause it was damn difficult . i study with my cousins . tmrw is physics , i just gonna study some formula .

okayy okayy haha

2009-10-09T08:33:00.000-07:00

sorry nina , aku play2 jerh :)

wow ! The maths paper one was really cracking my brain , i doubt i can pass . social studies was also difficult . ohh man ! my lousy subject have not yet come . chemistry and dNt . i will try my best to revise back . hmm , who is that stupid charcoal shouting morons at canteen , ohh maybe he was trying to advertise himself as a morons , shouting like a guy with no dignity i guess . haha , let them be a fool of themselves . after school chill out with ashy , shara , nina , yuliz ,farah , kart and nurfa . Me and shara did something to nina that make her cry . sorry nina , it was meamt to be a joke . nina is a funny girl , she laugh over small matter bu never cry when boys cheated her or something happen to her friend . no matter what ily luh all friends .

im going to go out study tmrw , who want to join in ? atlast ALHAMDULILAH ! my prayers was granted , i saw paul and his girl at rc , she was a hillgrove girl if im not wrong , i salute my self because i did not shed a tear , i feel like im over him , that boy in the train damn cute seh , he knock on me , my head landed to the window glass and he was like saying sorry profusely . i cant still remember his face , ohhr, crushcrushcrush :)

goin to start anew .

2009-10-08T07:00:00.000-07:00

i had clear all not used links . its the best , my classmate told me i wont lose anything if i don't have such friends . okay , im moving on , i won't be the old ellisa with no shame always asking some friends for forgiveness when the friend you had are arrogant . i have no offence but i cant get well with technicals students not because of studies but the attitude sometimes get me on my nerves . To whom it may concern , this is the end of our journey being friends or like sibling friendship . What for waste my tears over you guys when that girl just don't care about friends and don't mind losing friends . Thats what i call arrogant , ah ! farah promise me that i wont lose anything if they are not with me and she say she will help me forget them . haha . good :)

now im feeling very okay , no need to think about this stupid problem . yuliz always ask me this question how can i still be friends with her when she as a friend betrayed me in loved . i always remember people good point before hating them . i will answer i can still be friends with her becos she had good points but i will never forget how she betrayed me . To her and her its nothing but to me its a big mistake .

just concentrate on my nice friends , studies and my love story .

ellisa :")

ily:)

2009-10-06T22:12:00.000-07:00

that is what people called friends . got your old friends forget the friends that was with you . kayy luh , im just being use . To fazana , sorry luh psl aku pgl dorg morons . from today i wont call moron okay . i should respect they are your friends but some of them are still my friends , i still talk to parven as normal cume yg certain tu ader susah siket . we started to be apart when i wasn't there for gigie birthday party . sorry sorry sorry .

2009-10-06T05:50:00.001-07:00

haha , spammers ? im not even scared of you guys , don't think i don't know who you are , step being a batman , your weight to fly ? dream on jackass ! i think halfway you will fall to the ground . spam more next time . wondering why , in the picture the stupid batman so called want to condemn me but not the other . funny right , no intentions . kayy luh tired of spamming .
exam around the corner , and im still not revising , im finding mates for groups studies . i will ask some boy friends for help .

happy friends laugh with you.
crying friends always with you through thick and thin .

may not be updating temporary .

elliSAdness

just tired

2009-10-05T07:37:00.000-07:00

musketeers ? haha , that was about long time ago . im just feeling like the one living out , they use to say im close to my bf than them . now they should know why they are much close to bf then friends . i just don't understand some people's attitude . cannot be told a little , start ah attitude . if you treat me as a friends you won't be saying that , ohhkayy , you think im sarcastic , its ur problem , i cant change ur negative thinking . Do you like this kind of situation , you siblings go your way while i go mine . the problems its not that i don't care losing you guys , but this maybe the best for you , or maybe one of you wanted this long ago . we may not be close but when we meet we will always share our problem together , so whats that call ,? only a hearing ear for you to talk to when you DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS ? WHEN YOUR BOYFRIEND IS NOT AROUND . i don't wish to condemn you but thats the way you are and im use to it . i may be hurt but no use telling . everyone is so selfish . kayy luh , i don't wish to tell everything out , its up to uu to decide .

wow ! that was a nice shot i got . klaw _ _ _ _ dha tak suke tak boley buat pape kn . i know luh im been wanting him about a few months and chance of getting him is decreasing . but who are you to say that ? To that KPO ! shut ur fucking idiotic mouth , want to read then want to tell him stories anyhow . if i had type his name okay uh , im talking about RUDI SALAM , NOT IRSHARUDY . SO ITS BETTER SOMTIMES TO OPEN YOUR BIG FAT MOTHERFUCKING MOUTH TO ASK THEN TO SLANDER ANYHOW .

ELLISAdness .

l o v i n g .

i just get to know .

2009-10-02T07:37:00.000-07:00

today had EOY english paper 1 & 2 . paper 1 was okay but the paper two was very trill . i did not have the time to finish summary so i just wrote some informations only . straight after school my friends were called , i pity damn but i think they were satisfied with what they had done . i just hope they wont get a heavy punishment somemore exams is officially starting soon . After school went to canteen eat my lunch with friends . Get out of school took bas , paul ezlink finish , yi chou asked for 50 cents and i gave sincerely . in return no thank you at all im not hoping fucker just wondering .(im calling the person who think im not sincere a fucker not paul ).when seperate ways . walk2 at westmall , yuliz ! please don't start your irritating attitude again , you said to us if we got problem with you tell straight but when we tell you , you gave us that tak perlu face , mintak kene sepak seh . After nina , farah , shara and ashy went home left me , kart and yuliz . At great wall met moon ki and vicknesh , i asked them never lepak with paul , they say don't want but the face like weird and i know its something fishy that they are hiding from me . finally they told me and kart . he had a girlfriend , a outside sec 1 girl , i don't wish to elaborate who . vicknesh say maybe they at rc but when we went there to spy , nothing was found . went to int back , he called vicknesh soon he came , i was hoping to see his girl but he was alone . i don't wish to talk about that , i just now im sad . For me the most sad part is sakti know about this before me an did not tell me , he said he know i will be sad , but without him telling me , surely rumours will be spread too . it will be more painful that way . haiys , titi titi . haiys , people who are asking me to move on and forget about him sorry i wont listen because thats not an advice but just pulling me into giving up . if theres a will , theres a way . had a very nice talk with kart . i agree with her points . about 4.30 i went home .

im still loving him people .

please understand that statement well:(

ellisaDness

just going to be quite

2009-09-30T06:32:00.000-07:00

we are just friends . i feel that this photo look nice . haha
haiys , exams around the corner and im becoming more stress . now im just busy with consultations .Its not that im being sarcastic with you but its the fact that that cardigan is not with me , if you don't believe you can ask my friends if only you believe them . frankly you are now a change person from good to bad or otherwise i cant comment but in this kind of behaviour you had i just don't feel like talking to you . i cant cry, its enough of the problem im facing . Its up to you to change i cant force , who am i to you ? maybe just a stranger . i love you as a sister but i don't know what is happening . can you just plan what really you want in life ?

wow ! those 4express students boys , i really don't understand them . Some are handsome but attitude seems like a kid . If you are sincere of being someone friend its not important for you to think that he must have an all branded stuffs . HELLo ! for your info every rich will be poor . haha
i know now maybe ur head is high up the sky with the thing you had, with the nike shoes you have . what really will you do if one day you only have spako shoes to wear and a recycle bag as a school bag ? will you like it if people look down on you ? you are such into money
, i hate people like you . good looks but inside is rotten .
i talk to him a little just now .
WtH ! lost my wallet containing $20 and my i\c . haiys ,
so careless of me.

raye with friends

2009-09-28T06:01:00.000-07:00

wow ! i had raye with friend it was absolutely fun . To me it was the best raye outing i ever had . people that when out with me are ashy , shara , yuliz , nina ,farah , nurfa , kart ,naz , farid , syafiq , rudy , leslie , andy , sakti , shamani , vicknesh , razeme , azmie , yichou , jun hao and nasir . if i miss anyone sorry im tired to think . i have no pictures but some are with ashy and farah brother . but i was fumming mad with rudy , i dont understand him , why must he be sarcastic to me ? haiys nevermind , i just forget what happen . then sunday when out to my aunt house at simei . now just finish packing school bag . the best house to me when we went raye was ashy house . everyone was like slacking and not going raye . we play card games , the main attraction was her sister which is very cute . i adore her much .
that all readers .

2009-09-25T06:24:00.000-07:00

my blog seems to be dead like farah 's blog . just been busy and going home late from school so no time to blog . i really suck at promising . i cant forget him , its just hard . everywhere there are memories . WTH ! i just feel that his the one that im gonna wait even it take a long time to wait . haha .tomorrow going raye with friends . update soon

ellisAdness:(

raye photos

2009-09-21T08:09:00.001-07:00

i like these kids . they are so cute like upin n ipin do we look alike ?

some photos are in my brother phone and cant be taken .

raye first day

2009-09-20T08:38:00.000-07:00

waah , raye seh today but me and brother was not in the mood of raye . but still we need to get out of the house . 1st house was my grandfather house . not been meeting him for 4 years as there was some conflict between dad and his brother .after that was mom auntie and there was my twin cousin . haha , we look alike , mix blood mahh ,indian and malay . last house was my uncle friend house and i did not get my collection and the rest had . haha ,i don't know why , haha , my face mature is it ? haha . enough about raye , .

I was browsing people's blog and came across paul ex or girlfy new blog . haha , see , how far you go surely i will find out . i don't quite understand her entry , but i try to elaborate as much as possible . she having some kind of family problem which is very sad . i pity her ,really im not being sarcastic huh . but if about paul im not sure if he is still now with paul or not , i think they are still together but i don't understand this paul ah , he likes to runaway from relationship problem .

im not being proud but when paul was with me he never run away rom problem but it was opposite ,i was the one who run away from problem . paul,paul ,ur type of person is diff to understand . but i just pray that you will change and be a better person . i agree with ur ex or girlfy that you are a change person not the paul that i use to know . you seems arrogant . maybe you change for the good . just hope you settle ur problem with her . my mind is too much about you , i got to change my goal for now , i should give and take and give her support to be with you . but i wont be teeling her that of course ! seeing her face just make me more angry . i will pary the best for uu and her . Its time for me to move on and go face the world ,its unpossible for me to wait for him cos eventhough if he really come back to me it wont be for long ryte ?

seriously ! i got to change

echa sadness=(

[i wil upload the raye pictures tmrw okay , im damn tired .

everything okay

2009-09-19T00:22:00.000-07:00

haha , everything okay , sakt not in his seasons mood . leslie talk to me like per normal only one people that i still dont get to talk to . you guys should know who . i really want him . sakti told me to move on does that mean i cant get him ? someone tell me what i should do now .
tomorrow its hari raye ! haha , all malay friend selamat hari raye okay ! , maaf zahir dan batin =)

i love pj=(
echa sadness =(

people with season moods

2009-09-17T05:18:00.000-07:00

Tears in this eyes of mine goin through every bitter bit in life .

NO more close friend , no more jokes;(

today school was like miserable for me . when i reach school went to ladies with bonchet . helping in putting contact lens . haha , but now i manage to do by my own self . chemistry and maths teacher were absent . after school i had lsp for history before that went to canteen to see adilah and nurfa settle some problems . on my way to lps ,something unexpected happen . SAKTI throw a stick or what im not to sure and it landed on my head . wow ! damn fucking nice , what the hell i do ? if he want to say i disturb him just now cant be cos he was all the way with his seasons attitude . nevermind , i don't hold it againts him , just forget what happen but my head is still hurting , just waiting for my mom to come home and give me a massage .

im just feeling my life is going to be in seasons again . sakti with his mood , me not getting pj ,leslie and gang not talking to me . what happen to my 2008 life . i want it all back but not the suspend part . The friend who always talk to me in the phone and gave me advise . A friend who play soccer with me and said that it will help me release all my stress ,A friend who lead me to the right path , its all gone in a flash , will this be the end of everything ? A boy who love me ? always making me laugh eventhough sometimes tears . boy who always never fail to give me good night msg . A boy that never fail to make me love him ? A boy that i will always like to joke with . im just missing all that and no one can understand that , their part of my life that have been very wonderful to me . I really don't wish to let go of that .

im ellisa that is missing everything

pj i want uu :(

what a day

2009-09-12T10:39:00.000-07:00

my annoying aunt was not at home as she was gone to work and her kids were all gone to their grandparents house . i was with brother for the whole day at home . today was just a normal and day dream day for me . from 4 to 7 i was watching HUMTUM a india movie ,it was super duper fun and sweet . i watch that show and forget about break fast haha . i ended up eating egg with bread . after break fasting i went for a shower . around 8 plus i went down to buy cheese fries and meet my dad . waited for my mom . suddenly they plan to go geylang to eat late dinner . i was shocked ! i was in my big nike t-shirt and p.e shorts . aiyoo ,but in the end i still need to follow . i was damn paisey , i reach geylang bustop got a few groups of mats ,i hide my face . haha . thank god i went home by taxi . i miss hym ! haha , but im happy with what i am now . i deserved it because when i was with him i took hym for granted . tat bitch ! what she really want ? cant she get out from all my friends life . first when i was with paul . den now faiza ? even leslie called her alien . maybe its just part of her life being a fucking stupid idiotic bitch . girls are all bitch but you are just a bitch tat should not be in this world .

long day

2009-09-11T09:21:00.000-07:00

today all the way out with bonchet . haha . go school with her becos she want to give back the cambodia form . after that we went to jp den lot and alot more . i lazy to post . i and her but shirt at jp . haha . go home about 9 plus meet mama at bustop den go home opps ! i mean aunty house . i think i won going out for the next two days . anyways readers i got conflict with my fucking aunty . she was sarcastic with me yesterday because i woke up at two . like WTH ! cant she understand that i was tired . sat to sun i had camp den mon to wed i had extra class so i only had thursday to rest haiys . kayy luhh . byee .

090909 . nothing special but special date ..

2009-09-09T02:38:00.000-07:00

hmm . today i had my maths and history remedial . but i woke up late so i did not went for maths remedial . i only went for history remedial .reach school went to semi circle to settle somethings . haha . next time go do research and see what is the differents of accusing and suspecting . aft history went to slack with yuliz at rc . about 3.30 we went home . i met aidil jvs otw home . otw to school just now he was at rc ,haiys uu see what i mean by cant forget him . i took the long route to school cause i dont want him to feel irritated by my face .
tats all for today =)